July.

*Trigger warning: Miscarriage, baby loss* An update As another July rolls around, I find myself utterly lost. The baby we lost would be turning 2 this month, and my mind is flooded with thoughts of “what if?”. Ordinarily, days pass without too many thoughts of this baby- something I’m not sure I’m ‘allowed’ to say,Continue

Now we can relax…right..?

Recently, I’ve seen so many lovely people announce that they are expecting after a loss or several losses. This is obviously fantastic news, but part of me, the anxious, post traumatic part, wants to hold them and tell them not to put too much pressure on themselves, that its ok to still not be ok.Continue

“…but we saw a heartbeat?…”

***Trigger Warning*** I’m not sure why I have decided to write this out; partly, I feel that this is a space where I can document things which happen in my life, so that I can look back, and partly I feel that writing it down might help me to process things. I kept a secretContinue

I love the flower girl

17th April 2015 * upsetting post* At 35 weeks + 6 days gestation, our beautiful baby girl Violet Rose was born by emergency Cesarean weighing 5lbs 5.5oz. The time of her birth is a funny one as no one knows if it was 15:15pm, or 15:20pm! When she was born she was pink and smooshyContinue

The Storm

Sunday 26th April 2015 *upsetting post* On the Saturday, We had an amazing day with our girl, we took her out in the NICU’s pram, and were moved to a new room- a huge step in NICU life, we were no longer in the bereavement room, we were now in a ‘going home with yourContinue

What comes after… Always Loved Never Forgotten.

I wanted to write a short post about what happens after your baby passes. This is a very personal, and still very taboo subject. Obviously no one ever wants to think about this, but I found myself searching for someone who had been through this, for support, guidance, and advice on what I should do,Continue